I was the absolute alone

Pt. 1

A boundless new life. The indescribable sense of love.
Every cell in my body in orgasm. Fucking and giving birth at the same time.
"Mmmmm Hmmmm... "
How can it feel so good?
How can it feel so good?
How can it feel so good.
I just can't seem to forget to breathe. Concentration & Grace. Nothing is more serene. The utter release of completely letting go. In trust. All aspects of my desires are known and met. How can it feel so good?
I don't want to puke on myself tonight. Even though becoming liquid the night before seemed delicious. Blood sugar water. Entering the golden window.
Sewage Extraction Team!
Bringing in the hoses and just pulling the shit right out of my center. I believe at this point I was truly afraid. The melody had ceased. I was the absolute alone. Eyes wear on the wrong side of my head. And looking the wrong way.

Nothing but a strange ticking sound.

And a feeling of a truly wretched indecisiveness.

What could be more uncomfortable?

Pt. 2

The centipede was covered in glass shards and metal needles.
It jumped into my throat strangled me from the inside.
This caused me to instantly throw up.
Purging a deep poison.
I could taste its horrid metallic bitterness. Which caused me to keep gagging.

Pt. 3

My arrival was sublime.
And my new friend took its post in my gut.
They named him Curly.
And it is so much fun.

tra la la

Who is the touch?
What beast wealds its talon slipper?
Where I sit beneath the sun
And wander upon mortal breath.
Freedom at a blade’s edge
But my obsessions overcame me
And I wandered into her skin
There we danced in silence and stillness
We melted into the mind
And I called to her ancestor’s hand
The color of the color of the color
Dripping jasmine in the mist of morning’s exhale
The resolution of sunlight
Total synesthesia
Reaping the swallowing brood
Eyes set as the famine moon
I would whisper “those” words
But a voice whispering “shoulds” denies me
corset poison corset

…fuck. it.

aRose

well, it's been a while since I've posted here... but I think I'll be using this more from here on out. I am very excited to announce that my new album, entitled "aRose" will be out Feb 14 2009! It's been 5 long years since Elucidation of Sorrow. So it kinda feels like my first album again. Anyway, on it are Sasha Rose, Dakini Star, e.Ma, Rigzin and Souleye. Thanks to them for adding such amazing magic. Also, the artwork is amazing. Truly. Andrew jones is the creator of dreams unseen but amazingly familiar. I am blessed to have his contribution.

My first show where it will be available is Submerge in San Francisco. The next one is Lucent L'amor in LA. Soon it will be online. Until then, write me, call me, find me and I will get you your copy.

Bless,
Rab

Houkalim

Selfish apothecary takes us
into the dull redemption
An age of condescension
echoing the slow elation
The reason why dance
is no more than life
Caressing waking hands
in the solace of light
Change is but a lull
in the wretched beyond
la la la la la la la la la la....

hello from yemen

Sana'a is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. The people here are so friendly I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it is. They are very curious and always smiling. Being here is like being in a hive of intricate nostalgia. There is nothing i have ever seen that is truly this ancient and authentic. Sights such as camels strapped to contraptions and strutting in circles to crush sesame seeds for oil. We got invited to a wedding part in the streets last night. As we approached up one of this city's many winding streets, I could hear the excitement echoing like stream of birds. Rounding the corner is a sight I will never forget. A swarm of fireworks, dancing and live music. The men moved in circles wielding enormous blades. They moved with pride, as if their fathers who had taught them were joining in the saga. Fireworks would periodicaly erupt from the center and all would run in laughter and song. Four men played flute and drums and other instruments. Another held a microphone which was connected to a sole megaphone type speaker atop a roof. Women sang from the balconies directly above. We were hurried this way and that. Everyone welcomed us and asked us of we would like to chew qat with them. Our cheeks were already stuffed with what was supposedly the best qat in town. Suddenly we were summoned to greet the groom. He was surrounded in an entourage of 10 or 15 men with no space between them. I was shoved by his side, but had to be careful of his large Kalishnakov machine gun. A few photos were taken and I was quickly, yet lovingly pulled to the perimeter. Luckily I was able to record most of the sounds. Joshie has been wielding his fisheye camera and I my small digital recorder. Because most of Sana'a is free of cars... or any sense of modernity... the quality of our takes are outstanding. From the fully burka'd women, the qat chomping men, the elated and constantly playing children to the glimmering knives, decorated motorcycles, and shimmering prayer songs of the mosques. All is beautiful. All is enchanted.

Today was spent hunting for sounds and photos. To our amazement, but were beyond plentiful. Most agreed to be shot. The adult women, of course, were forbidden. We snuck as many as we could, but many times there eyes were to obscured to see if they were looking. The children often flock to us and follow us for a few blocks before being replaced by a new gang. It was quite a joy to show them the photos we were taking of them. To be certain, the people are among the friendliest I have ever known. I'm constantly catching their curious stares. A simple smile and they melt into agreeable teddy bears. The common outfit is a head scarf, a skirt like wrap, a western sport coat and a decorative belt bearing a 9 inch knife in the center. Although it appears merely as a style, we did encounter two men with knives pulled on eachother in a wrestling argument. After a bit of tussle, they parted. Although the knives were mere inches from each other's faces, no one seemed to react in extreme emotion. Just another day in Yemen. After a full day of winding exploration we were guided by a 6 or 7 year old girl to the local spot for Salta. This lamb stew is delicious, boiling hot and served with fresh warm bread. After our fill we spent the rest of the day chewing qat and finally chasing the sunset with the fisheye camera. I will never forget these few days among the last reminents Arabian culture as it was before oil.