The body of my work needs more extremities.
It may need another orifice... or two.

Sitting back and relishing in creation again. This time with so many more questions. As if decision itself is the instrument I must master.

How will I know if I will care when I hear it?
In that moment. When I need it most.
This sense of anticipation is the elusive pest.

How deep will I be able to know myself? Before the moment even comes.
By this default, strangeness seems to interest me most.

Yet a foundation of predictable ingestion helps keep the poison out.

And the medicine in.

I was the absolute alone

Pt. 1

A boundless new life. The indescribable sense of love.
Every cell in my body in orgasm. Fucking and giving birth at the same time.
"Mmmmm Hmmmm... "
How can it feel so good?
How can it feel so good?
How can it feel so good.
I just can't seem to forget to breathe. Concentration & Grace. Nothing is more serene. The utter release of completely letting go. In trust. All aspects of my desires are known and met. How can it feel so good?
I don't want to puke on myself tonight. Even though becoming liquid the night before seemed delicious. Blood sugar water. Entering the golden window.
Sewage Extraction Team!
Bringing in the hoses and just pulling the shit right out of my center. I believe at this point I was truly afraid. The melody had ceased. I was the absolute alone. Eyes wear on the wrong side of my head. And looking the wrong way.

Nothing but a strange ticking sound.

And a feeling of a truly wretched indecisiveness.

What could be more uncomfortable?

Pt. 2

The centipede was covered in glass shards and metal needles.
It jumped into my throat strangled me from the inside.
This caused me to instantly throw up.
Purging a deep poison.
I could taste its horrid metallic bitterness. Which caused me to keep gagging.

Pt. 3

My arrival was sublime.
And my new friend took its post in my gut.
They named him Curly.
And it is so much fun.

tra la la

Who is the touch?
What beast wealds its talon slipper?
Where I sit beneath the sun
And wander upon mortal breath.
Freedom at a blade’s edge
But my obsessions overcame me
And I wandered into her skin
There we danced in silence and stillness
We melted into the mind
And I called to her ancestor’s hand
The color of the color of the color
Dripping jasmine in the mist of morning’s exhale
The resolution of sunlight
Total synesthesia
Reaping the swallowing brood
Eyes set as the famine moon
I would whisper “those” words
But a voice whispering “shoulds” denies me
corset poison corset

…fuck. it.

aRose

well, it's been a while since I've posted here... but I think I'll be using this more from here on out. I am very excited to announce that my new album, entitled "aRose" will be out Feb 14 2009! It's been 5 long years since Elucidation of Sorrow. So it kinda feels like my first album again. Anyway, on it are Sasha Rose, Dakini Star, e.Ma, Rigzin and Souleye. Thanks to them for adding such amazing magic. Also, the artwork is amazing. Truly. Andrew jones is the creator of dreams unseen but amazingly familiar. I am blessed to have his contribution.

My first show where it will be available is Submerge in San Francisco. The next one is Lucent L'amor in LA. Soon it will be online. Until then, write me, call me, find me and I will get you your copy.

Bless,
Rab

Houkalim

Selfish apothecary takes us
into the dull redemption
An age of condescension
echoing the slow elation
The reason why dance
is no more than life
Caressing waking hands
in the solace of light
Change is but a lull
in the wretched beyond
la la la la la la la la la la....